Dr. John Tamilio III, Pastor

On the surface, today’s Gospel Lesson seems to be about dietary restrictions that the Jews followed.  The Torah (the first five books of the Old Testament) enumerate foods that are considered unclean for Jews to eat, such as pig and shellfish.  In this passage, is Jesus saying that all foods are clean, that all animals may be eaten?  It seems that way, for it is what comes out of the mouth that defiles not what goes into it.  What goes into the mouth ends up in the sewer.  What comes out of it is different.  For me, that is the crux of the lesson.

We tell children sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.  Well, we have since learned that names do hurt.  What we say to one another does matter, and sometimes we say the most heinous things to other people.

Road rage used to be common, because, safe behind your steering wheel with the windows rolled up, you could yell and gesture to people you’ll most likely never see again.  You could release your anger in ways you would never ever do to someone face to face.  The internet (more specifically social media) has become the new road rage.  We will say the most hurtful things to others online.  Being behind a computer screen is even safer than being in a car.  But the difference is that behind the wheel we vent our anger at strangers.  Behind the computer screen, we say vile things to people we know: family members, friends, neighbors, and coworkers.  If I was a gambler, I would bet that social media has destroyed more relationships than anything else in our society.

I’ll use myself as an example — a story I may have shared with you before.  A person who was a good friend of mine for almost thirty years wrote me off after the 2016 Presidential Election.  This friend, who is very liberal, was a staunch Hilary Clinton supporter.  (Great!  I don’t care who my friends vote for.)  Anyway, the day after the election, when it was announced that Trump unexpectedly won, he sent me a text saying, “It’s because of people like you that he won.”  My response was, “I didn’t vote for Trump.”  I also didn’t vote for Clinton.  I didn’t.  I wrote in a different candidate, which, the last time I checked, is my right as an American citizen.  Still, my friend held fast to the mantra if you’re not for me, you are against me.  We haven’t spoken since.

What’s my point?  Two things.  First, I do not care what your politics are, nor do I care what anyone else’s happens to be.  Second, I doubt my friend would be so hostile and judgmental if we had this conversation over the phone or face-to-face.  That’s the point!  There is safety in typing something and hitting send, just as there is safety in giving the middle finger to a stranger who cuts you off in traffic.

Road rage.  Internet rage.  It’s all the same — and it defiles.

That is really what Jesus is talking about here.  It is what comes out of the mouth that defiles because what comes out of the mouth comes from the heart.  Does that mean that people who are kind have a good heart and those who are hurtful have a nasty one?  No, of course not.  Some people say hurtful things because they have been hurt — like the abused child who grows up and carries on that cycle of violence.  There are exceptions to every rule, but, in general, Jesus is saying something quite universal here.

It’s not hard to be kind — to find the good in the world and to share it with others.  Actually, it is also good for you.  In his article, “The Power of Kindness: The Ripple Effect of Being Nice,” Calvin Holbrook mentions a study that a Spanish company did in 2018.  “Workers were asked to either a) perform acts of kindness for colleagues, or b) count the number of kind acts they received from coworkers.  The results showed that those who received acts of kindness became happier, demonstrating the value of benevolence for the receiver.”[1]

Receiving acts of kindness does go a long way.  It builds us up.  I can remember, when I was much younger, how elated I would be when my boss would compliment my work.  We all know that the boss is quick to criticize and yell.  The minute he or she walks into the office, we stop talking, we get to work, and our brain begins turning at internet speed to make sure we haven’t forgotten anything or left any task undone.  Being criticized by the boss, or having the boss say nothing at all, is usually the norm.  When you hear, “Hey, good work on this project,” you can feel the elation fill your entire body.  The opposite (of being yelled at or reprimanded) is also true: your entire body feels it.

And it doesn’t even have to involve work.  When someone (a stranger) gives you a big, genuine smile, and says “hello” or “good morning,” you just feel better.  I know this may sound simple, but I bet you all know the feeling.  You all know what I am talking about.

Steve Siegle, writing for the Mayo Clinic, claims that kindness is good both for the body and the mind.  In terms of the first point (that it’s good for the body), Siegle writes, “Kindness has been shown to increase self-esteem, empathy, and compassion, and improve mood.  It can decrease blood pressure and cortisol, a hormone directly correlated with stress levels.  People who give of themselves in a balanced way also tend to be healthier and live longer.”[2]  In terms of the latter (that it’s good for the mind), Siegle claims, “Physiologically, kindness can positively change your brain by boosting levels of serotonin and dopamine.  These neurotransmitters produce feelings of satisfaction and well-being and cause the pleasure and reward centers in your brain to light up.  Endorphins, your body’s natural painkiller, also may be released when you show kindness.”[3]

I will add a third benefit: it is good for the soul.  Acts of kindness remind us that we are not alone in this world.  We are united with one another in the common band of humanity.  With fellow Christians, we are united as the Body of Christ.  This is a bond that goes beyond any other relationships we have.  It is an extended family with Christ as the head.

So, think about what you are going to say today — and what you are going to say tomorrow.  Ask yourself if it reflects what is on the inside because what is on the inside comes from the heart.  If what you say builds up rather than tears down; if it provides someone with hope rather than despair; if it spreads love rather than hate; if it lets others feel that maybe the kingdom of God is at hand rather than being some far-off fairytale — then your will be speaking the Word: God’s Word.  And in that Word, there is life…life abundant.  Amen.

[1] Calvin Holbrook, “The Power of Kindness: The Ripple Effect of Being Nice,” from happiness.com.

[2] Steve Siegel, “The Art of Kindness,” from Mayo Clinic Health System (online), August 17, 2023.

[3] Ibid.